Getting "In There" with Heavy Grievers
“I think they need you in the ER,” our switchboard operator said. When answering a page from downstairs, I never know what to expect except that it won’t be good. I was half wrong. This case
would unfold as tragic and wonderful at the same time! There were two families to comfort. Transported in the same ambulance, ironically the two patients had traded places emotionally. After bandages, the accident fatality’s tearless husband expressed undiluted faith. In another room, the surviving other-car driver couldn’t stanch the flow of her anguish from taking a human life! The husband needed to grieve and couldn’t. The guilty driver couldn’t find peace enough to stop. How could I help them on the worst day of their lives? What did Jesus do in my situation?
Jesus empathized with grievers. “When the Lord saw her, his heart was filled with pity for her, and he said to her, ‘Don't cry.’” [Luke 7:13, Good News Translation] When I arrived, the other-car driver’s stretcher sheets were wet from waterfall eyes! My heart’s average pity capacity tried to copy-cat Christ’s gigantic chest-full of vicarious agony, but there’s no way! No human caregiver can
match Jesus in empathy! Try anyway. Empathizing is what the Master Mentor does. His empathy produced His “Don’t cry.” He was identifying with the childless no-income widow’s plight. He was not rebuking her for grieving. Responding to her tears, Jesus revealed His own broken heart! Although I’m trying to, I never say, “I know how you feel.” Who wouldn’t be angered by a stranger equating his emotions to their loss of a lifetime? I often begin simply. “I’m so sorry for you!” I step into, then wade deeper into their sorrow tank. For long minutes I soak with them, often in the gurneyed presence of the loved one they’ve lost. Jesus was so superior at this! “In all their affliction He was afflicted.” “In all their troubles, He was troubled.” “In all their suffering, He suffered.” “In all their distresses, He too was distressed.” [Isaiah 63:9, New King James Version, Complete Jewish Bible, Good News Translation, Holsten Christian Standard Bible, New International Version].
"Christ is affected as his weakest follower is affected. The sympathy of Christ is such that he can not be an indifferent spectator of his children's sufferings. Not a sigh is breathed, not a pain felt, not a grief pierces the soul, but the throb vibrates to the Father's heart.” [Ellen White, The Oriental Watchman, December 1, 1909, "A Friend to the Friendless, paragraph 5].
Several years ago, a national spaghetti sauce ad campaign featured a fervent boyfriend shopping in a New York City borough for exotic ingredients with which to cook the finest pasta dinner ever made! It had to be perfect! After dining he would propose marriage and must win a “Yes” with his culinary masterpiece! At the quaint
grocery, the proprietor’s thick accent replied identically to every inquiry for rare imported spices. “It’s in there. It’s in there. It’s IN there! IT’S IN THERRRRRRE!! And, so is Jesus! He’s in there with every suffering griever, hurting as deeply as they do! Often family members see me weeks or months-later at WalMart or send a Thank You note. “You’ll never know how much you helped us the night we lost Mom!” All I did was get “in there” with them as much as I could. To them it was the unforgettable substitute presence of Jesus.
